Accepting Limits
This blog is part of y’alls June assignment, which is to listen to the sermons series Dolphins and Dragonflies which can be found at http://www.trinityomaha.com/igsbase/igstemplate.cfm?SRC=MD014&SRCN=index&GnavID=9&SnavID=29&TnavID=137. This post is in response to the first sermon from 8.13.06 entitled “Dolphins & Dragonflies” please let me know what you think.
Also for a simply blog post I don’t proof read, so please overlook bad grammar
Let me first start off by saying I love Les Beauchamp, he is intense, high energy and says crazy things. I listened to this sermon series when it originally came out and it has always griped me about what type of life I want to live as a Christian. As he shares about his personal journey, and that of his church, I am inspired, humbled and moved. I leave the message with one main thought in my head…
We were created to be supernatural AND have limits.
I think of how he spoke about the abundant life in the beginning, and how it means that you have enough for you and some to give away. How we are called to impact people and nations. How we are called to raise the dead, heal the sick, cleanse the lepers and cast out demons. But at the same time we individually are not called to do that for every single person, because we don’t have that capacity.
When Katie, my wife and I, first came on staff as interns at Wesley together (it was her 2nd year interning, my 1st) we were ready to make the year count. And the translation for that was that we wanted to be extremely busy. We wanted to talk to every single person, be at every prayer meeting, do something elaborate for our ministry areas all the time. But in the midst of trying to be really good interns, we neglected each other, and in almost 3 years of marriage are still learning how to set boundaries, and truly care for each other first.
The most impactful prayer meeting in my life is one I didn’t go too. Katie and I had started dating, we were falling in love, you know it was the good stuff. There was going to be a campus wide prayer meeting at the Sidney Stovall chapel on I think a Sunday night where we were going to pray for city wide revival. We had pushed the meeting big at Wesley, and my first two years of college if there was a prayer meeting I was there. What I didn’t realize that behind this go-go-go mentality was thoughts like, “for revival to come I need to be there,” “I have to be at the prayer meeting or the Lord will not move.” At the heart of this go-go-go was the belief where I was the cornerstone of the kingdom, and let me say this, you all are NOT the cornerstone of Wesley. I am not, Bob is not, no one here is- Jesus is. After coming to this realization as Katie and I were deciding whether to go to the prayer meeting or not, we decided to have a night in and we spent amazing time together, and the Lord genuinely taught me that it is not about me.
Let me say this, I am not promoting laziness. Things that you have committed to are yours to do. The last thing I would want is this to come across as accepting idleness. But what I think it really is about is accepting the fact that you are entrusted with certain things in life, and everything else is extra. When that extra (which isn’t bad) over-shadows what you are entrusted with, then there is a need for realignment. The Lord has set limits on us. For instance, the Lord has built our staff to around 75 interns. To have a really good conversation with someone it takes at least an hour. In your average day you probably have about 1-2 hours of down time that you can choose what you want to do. And so if you choose that time to have a 1 hour conversation with 1 person then it will take you November to have a conversation with everyone. We simply do not have the capacity to know every single person on staff in a best friend type relationship. But what we can do is accept the limit (time in this case) that God has placed on us, and live faithfully. While we can’t all be best friends, we can be a body that builds itself up in love and where everyone plays their part and everyone’s needs are meet.
So to reiterate, I guess I finish this sermon thinking about how we are called to great things, but so are other people, and so accept your limits, and live the life YOU are called to live
I love how Les says in the sermon, “There is no reason to fear disappointing people, and therefore do the wrong thing." Because the truth is many people feel so much pressure to intern and be a world changer, to be intern MVP, but the truth is there are always going to be people to talk to, things to pray about, events to plan, and those things are great, but asking yourself, "is this what I have been entrusted with" goes a long way in living YOUR life and setting healthy boundaries.
So thoughts…
daniel
posted by Daniel Simmons at
12:09 PM
15 Comments:
Both this sermon and this post really gave me a lot to think about. This whole concept of knowing my limits, especially when it comes to next year as an intern, has been frequently in my thoughts and prayers. I am getting married this summer, and my biggest fear is that I will choose to over-commit myself at Wesley because I will convince myself I am not doing enough, and that would negatively affect my marriage Something that I struggle with is relying on the acceptance of others, and many times I have thought that if I volunteer for all these things, someone would give me their approval. So, it may be a different reason than for Daniel or Les, but I feel like I stretch my limits to feel adequate in the ministry I am doing. But, since my decision to intern, I feel like the Lord has been teaching me, or trying to teach me, that I do not need to go above and beyond others and therefore stretch my limits to be "adequate" for the calling He has placed on my life. Being who I am qualifies me for the calling He has placed on my heart to intern at Wesley. And so, my main prayer this summer is that I will walk in that confidence, and that will allow me to be faithful to first being a wife and second being a light.
June 9, 2010 at 11:18 PM
Ya that sermon was really interesting and challenging. I definitely find myself really enjoying being busy and super-involved in lots of things esp. at Wesley and I've kind of always been that way (in high school, it was a million extracurricular choirs). It's really easy for me to fill up my schedule like crazy. This summer has been really interesting for me though, cause I have been student teaching abroad in New Zealand, and have been away from all of my friends, family, and activities. So while student teaching is supposed to be one of the busiest times of an education degree, it's been one of the least busiest for me, which has been nice. But I find myself longing for more activities and involvement and fellowship, which in some ways I think is okay cause we are called to community and fellowship, but it's also an interesting time for me to listen to these sermons and see how much I operate on and long for a busy schedule full of activities. So it's something I definitely need to assess in my life and learn how to have healthy boundaries with my activities and relationships when I come back and intern. And it doesn't talk too much about this idea in relation to being a single adult, not living with parents, except for mentioning briefly that this would apply to relationships with "kindred spirits" and parents, so it'd be cool to hear more about that. But I kind of like the idea of a life filled with more quality time with close friends and even my parents, cause I love quality time, so it sounds great to me, the challenge is just living it out.
June 10, 2010 at 1:34 AM
man this sermon gave me a flashback... my 2nd year at UGA (junior year of school) I got real burnt out. It wasn't that I was over involved at wesley... in fact, I've never been super involved at Wesley. I'd guess that 95% of the staff next year will have never met me... I just got over involved with doing things. I was working 30 hours a week, taking 17 hours of classes, going to wesley every wednesday, small group every tuesday, training for a marathon, and spending a lot of time with my friends. I eventually shut down. Every time I went to Wesley I felt overwhelmed and instead of being refreshed it stressed me out to be around so many people. So I started to not go and every free moment I got I did NOTHING. I became very unhappy. The summer after that year the Lord did some serious work in my life. I took the summer off and went to italy for 2 1/2 months... it was during those few months that the Lord taught me much of what the Lord taught Les. I can't do everything. I can't fix everything. I can't be good at everything. BUT I do have gifts and strengths that I'm called to use, certain people I'm supposed to speak life into, certain programs I'm supposed to be involved with, and times that I'm supposed to rest and be ministered to. I still struggle with this as do apparently all of America. I have to learn to balance things and prioritize. This year as an intern I assume I'll deal with the same struggles so it was really good to be reminded of what's important.
June 14, 2010 at 3:11 PM
aughhh yes...where is advice for singles?
June 15, 2010 at 12:18 AM
I like how Les says that most of life occurs unscheduled. That's a good reminder!
I know that one thing the Lord is leading me into for this next year (and the rest of my life hopefully) is freedom from over-scheduling myself. It's something I've done most of my life, as though i'm supposed to meet some cultural or social standard, and it's just not necessary. I want to be where he desires me to be and trust that He knows all things.
And like you mentioned Daniel, I know that mindset of, "the prayer meeting needs me"- but praise the Lord it doesn't, it just needs the Holy Spirit! I'm so glad revival in Athens is not contingent on my presence...that's too much for someone to carry and not the point of ministry.
Similarly the HS has been convicting my heart and leading me into pondering the value of people over any event or meeting I go to or put on....and so if gaining a greater capacity to love people as God loves them is all I gain in the next year, then that is time well spent.
June 15, 2010 at 5:01 PM
Sloan, that is a good point on singles, since much of the sermon talks about marriage, but I would love to know what you think
June 16, 2010 at 9:52 AM
Listening to this sermon I was really challenged on the undercurrent for me of control in my life. I feel like if I can control my activities and my discipleships and the way I handle my time then the Lord would be proud of me and I would be useful in His kingdom. But that's not how it works and I am not responsible for everything. Instead I'm to trust that the Lord knows my needs daily lets me take a break and put first the things like time with the Lord in the morning. I can rest and know that taking a sabbath doesn't mean that the world will stop because my schedule isn't full for that day. It's great for me to remember as I prepare for next year.
June 16, 2010 at 11:11 AM
I really feel like this is such a good truth. Its easy to not set up booundaries with work, even work within the ministry, and become exhausted.
Ive read two books this year that related to this sermon. In both books the authors were pastors for years and their church was their highest priority. In fact, their work in ministry came at the expense of their families. Both authors told of how they almost lost their wives as a result. And both the authors had the same point as Les: its important to have boundaries on your work, even ministry, so you are emotionally and spiritually healthy.
I think this is such an important concept for all of us to know, especially those of us who will move on to church leadership positions. Its good to keep God and your family as your higher priorities.
June 18, 2010 at 4:13 PM
advice for singles (as gleaned from the series, not from personal experience at mastering it, puhlease!)
1)Learn from the married guys teaching this sermon series. Seriously, they all start crying when they talk about neglecting their relationships with their wife and kids and that's not because they are oversensitive, it's because this is really important. The realization that such a neglect is lethal not just to you and your harvest, but to others (your children, your friends, your family) as well. There's a trickle down effect of the bad habit of busy-ness.
2. Learn to value genuine relationships over success/performance/people pleasing/ and ministry for ministry's sake. 'Nough said.
3. And...the relationship we (as single people, and also marrieds) cultivate with Jesus on an individual, committed way is worth fighting for big time. If we neglect to protect the time we make for just Him, we'll burn out and fall into all sorts of disrepair and debacle. Guard that time!!
June 22, 2010 at 3:32 PM
what am i learning from these sermons? they are super encouraging, and refreshing, reassuring reminders. it is hard for me to say no and i like to be a part of everything. i am naturally hyperactive in my schedule...the only time i'm not is when i'm making myself focus on work i have to do or spend time with God. like, for instance, right now the first week of my volunteering in Colorado at my old camp just ended, but my immediate first thought was to go do something, rather than rest. go to town and hang out in the coffee shop or walk around to the cool stores. and it's a big challenge for me since i flew out here and i hate having to depend on others for rides. i love the outdoors, but what is hard bein in the most remote place in the continental US (go Google Hinsdale County, Colorado) is that there are not a lot of people or things to do besides hike or adventure sports, and when i want those indoor activities and fun they're not there, so it makes me slow down and rest and not depend on those activities. the nearest place with a McDonald's and Wal-Mart is the same as driving from Athens to Atlanta.
Anyway, for next year, I'm already feeling a little stressed as I'll be finishing a 2nd degree in school- and boy am I SICK of school- with one class and one 2nd half of an online class. and I'll be living in Pineview by many of my good friends. and I love getting involved in stuff in athens like house church and Restoration, but I will have to set boundaries for those things around my internship and friendships and times working out at Ramsey and enough rest each night (gone are my 4 am nights in college). most importantly I really want at least 2 hours a day in the Word, worship, and journaling and I want to find out how to do that without hermitting in the prayer chap or getting up at 5:30 a.m. every morning or not having time with people.
this sermon was really encouraging for me as a single...i love being single since i dont feel like i have time for a relationship and am very focused on trying to grow intimate with the lord, that if i was married or whatever right now i may feel overwhelmed, esp if i had a family (although i feel too young for that still)
June 25, 2010 at 6:28 PM
Boundaries are good and to be honest, I don't know much about them. It's something that in thinking about this sermon, I feel like I should be praying about more. I kind of have a "Go, Go, Go" personality and I'm not one to rest. It can get a little challenging sometimes, taking on too much stuff. I'm thinking about that verse that says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I have a feeling that we all want (and the Lord has given us) the desire and the dreams for big things. I also have the feeling (I'm reminding myself as I type this) that revivals in our city, families, friendships and personal lives don't come from prayer meetings or healing prayer nights (although He does awesome things on hp nights :) ) or being at every Wesley or small group. The biggest changes in my life have happened in spending one on one time with the Lord. This is what we need. He's got us. We just have to talk to Him.
June 27, 2010 at 11:33 PM
The main thing that I have really gleaned from this series is the concept of rest and knowing WHO your rest is derived from. I know that much of my life has been about to-do lists and commitments, but the series has really given me a challenge to practice saying 'NO' to countless activities and saying 'YES' to the Lord when He wants me to receive rest.
In the first message Les Beauchamp ("L.B") refers to Matthew 11:29 ("My yoke is easy and my burden is light.") and it gave me something to think about. My life in the Lord shouldn't be stressful!! (And for some reason, that thought was really revolutionary for me.)
I also have been thinking about the boundaries the Lord sets for me (via Psalm 16:6). It made me being to realize that boundaries are not for the Lord, but set by the Lord for me so that I can live abundantly.
And...I think L.B says that living abundantly = living in a way that allows you to receive from the Lord that you spill over and refresh others around you. So in a way, even if you're not trying to minister to people, you could be so full of the Lord that you can't help but minister to someone. And, I like that.
June 28, 2010 at 11:09 AM
It sounds like we all struggle with busyness. I know I like to be busy, and I feel productive when I have things to accomplish. But I think Les brought up some good points about over-doing ministry. I liked that he stressed time with God as the most important part of his day. So often we put this off to get other things done, but really, this time is what we need most and what the Lord desires. Also, Les realizes the importance of people, not activities. It would be easy to stretch ourselves thin next year because Wesley is blessed to have so many minstry opportunities. I'm praying for the Lord's guidance and discernment for our staff about the way we'll spend our time. I am looking forward to having time to spend in the prayer chapel and getting to know other staff!
June 30, 2010 at 3:54 PM
This sermon couldn't have come at a better time. I'm getting married in two weeks, Kayla and I have been moving for the past month and it feels like I've just been going and going. Les really brings up the issue of rest and I'm realizing now even when there is a time of great change I need God's peace and rest right now. If I give into the mentality that rest will come at some point and not acknowledge that I need to make time with the Lord I feel strung out and restless. I found this very telling of myself especially in the coming months of my marriage to Kayla. That we will be busy but it is important to make time for one another and time with Jesus. This will be one of the biggest aspects of the coming year with it being my first year of marriage and interning at Wesley. Yet at the same time I am excited to see how Jesus will show Kayla and I how important His rest is and that when we manage our time the way Jesus wants us to we will see his life blossom in our lives.
-Newton
July 1, 2010 at 11:41 AM
There are so many things that I have gotten out of this sermon series. I know that I will probably revisit this series again. One thing that stuck out for me, was when Les Beauchamp talks about that a lot of our primary energy and presentation goes to our work or activities. Then we let down when we get home. He talks about how the opposite should be true. Our primary activity should be at home and focusing on what matters most. When I think of what it means to take care of home, I am convicted to not only love and pray for my family more and invest in relationships with them, but now that I have graduated, I am entering into a new season where I am on my own. So what does it mean for my primary activity to be at home? I don't live at home anymore and I don't have a family of my own, yet.
Les talks about the meaning of home. He says home is where you belong, where you are cared for and where you are fed.
Where do I belong? Where am I cared for? Where am I fed? The presence of the Lord.
The priority of taking care of home is primarily taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit. It is making sure my needs are met by God before I try to meet my needs with other things, with other people, with my ministry, etc. It is also making sure my physical home is a place of rest- whether that is referring to keeping things tidy or referring to relationships in the home. Tending to my friendships with roommates and close friends are also important. My friends have so much to offer me and push me closer to the cross, so it is SO important to invest time in them. It is truly an eternal investment. Life is not about how much I do or how many people I help. It is not about busy schedules. It is about relationship.
I had a revelation last night that I think the Lord has been building up in me for a while now. We all have needs and we have a choice of how we want to fill those needs or try to fill those needs. So often people (including myself) try to fill needs by doing, by filling up their schedules, by helping people, etc. I have realized that so often I work and serve out of a desire to be filled. Isn't that loving your neighbor from yourself not as yourself? Is that real love? It is selfish love is what it is - so therefore it's not really love. It is a love that comes from obligation. So what does it mean to love your neighbor as you love yourself?
How do we love ourselves?
We allow our heart to receive what it needs. Real love. The steadfast, fulfilling love that comes from our Savior. The love that comes with no attachments. It is allowing our savior to wash our feet even though we should be washing His.
Can we love our neighbor if we don't love ourselves?
What if we became a body of Christ that understood our identity and allowed the Lord to truly meet all of our needs?
We would then no longer be loving out of obligation or a desire to meet unmet needs. There would no longer be hidden motives. We would actually love because we were first loved. Love would literally become an overflow of the Love of the Father we have received and people who don't know Jesus would actually begin to meet Him through our love.
July 29, 2010 at 4:46 PM
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